Monday, March 30, 2009

Lovin' on the Bloodsucker...

The release party of "TWILIGHT" at F.Y.E in Orem---we had such a blast!
We were deliriously happy when we saw these cardboard cutouts of our favorite vampire/wannabe! Bella, Donny, Tara, Mel, Edward and Tammy pose for the camera!

Kickin' that crazy girl out of MY way--this vampire is MINE!!
Don't get in the way of a girl and her killer!


The girls were ready to haul him off and share him!
Tara, Mel, Britt and Sarah

Staking our claim on the hottest vampire in the world!


.....and loving every minute of it!

MRIs and Valium and Echos, Oh My

This morning I went to UVRMC to get my tests done--and they weren't really that bad. The Valium worked well--or if it didn't, I didn't really care (which means that it DID work, right?!) Just relaxed with it on board, but it made walking a straight path kinda difficult! You'll have to ask Tracey if I acted strangely while under it's influence :) The echo was actually more obnoxious--the ICU nurse wasn't sure if she got the IV in--it wouldn't advance at first. And I'm thinking if she can't hit that garden hose in my ante-cube, I don't know how well she did in ICU! Never fear, tho, cause it worked. And apparently, my lungs are all sorts of in the way of my heart....the tech had a hard time getting a good view. Which just verifies the fact that I've known for a long time--I'm a medical marvel. But she finally made it happen (she was really good at her job) and finished the ultrasound. She couldn't tell me any good or bad news, of course, but that didn't stop me from trying to wheedle it out of her! I get the results in a few days, which means that she stood firm on not telling me, and that means she gets to keep her job!
I came home feeling super exhausted....from all the laying around, I bet...and took a long nap where I had dreams of being so sedated I couldn't open my eyelids! Good times.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sediments about sedatives...

So I'm going to get some tests done tomorrow--an MRI and an echo cardiogram. Hopefully they'll provide some answers as to why I've been having weird symptoms lately. My neurologist said it may be anything from a random occurrence to a seizure to MS to a PFO. Whatever it is, I'm just looking forward to figuring it out, whatever it may be.
The MRI scheduling people asked if I was claustrophobic at all, which I guess I may be a little, but didn't think it would be problematic....then a bunch of work friends (you know who you are...) told me horror stories about MRI's! After a lot of soul-searching (like 5 seconds) I decided that forty five minutes in a loud coffin doesn't blow my skirt up, so I'm gonna take the Valium. Or Ativan. Or, really, whatever they offer me, I'm gonna ingest! Why wouldn't I??!!
My fabulous friend, Tracey, offered to go with me (and when I say "offered" I mean Rhianne nominated her, and Tracey jumped on that--what with her awesome house-spouse there to take care of Lizzy, she can go anywhere, anytime---thanks, Jason!) and we're making a day of it! Wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tiny Ones

Me and snuggly, lovey Christian
Wyatt, Ruby and Aunt Mellie
Ruby will snack on anything she can get her little mouth on...including big brother's nose!
Chrisch has a thing for noses....he'd touch it gently while whispering "nose" like it was sacred!

See what I mean?! He was always super gentle with his baby sister...even while locating all her interesting features!

Here are some great pics from my trip to Connecticut to help out with the newby. And since I'm a blog newby, and I just thought I'd put them up!

Drug-induced Lyrics


So, good news--I'm getting a crown on the aforementioned tooth! Yay me, I'm going from an ordinary PRINCESS to a QUEEN! (Don't blame me for that cheese--the receptionist told me that one...) And in the meantime, I'm wearing a lovely cap--it's nice really, cause I've always wanted some bling in my mouth. I tried to get the good doctor to add a diamond for added effect...he said if it were in front, he'd think about it. Such a hater. Whatevs.
And I've decided I'm not a big fan-slash-I AM a big fan, of the laughing gas. Numby and tingly at first, then nauseating. And I'm pretty sure I made some juicy confessions whilst under the influence... let's not make that mistake again. Ever. It was kinda like the morphine I had a couple weeks ago in the ER. And as Pink so eloquently puts it, "You're just like a pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill.....I can't stay on your lifesupport--there's a shortage in the switch. I can't stay on your morphine cause it's making me itch....I think I'll get outta here..." And that's what I wanted to do....run outta there. Only I didn't itch so much as felt HEAVY. Collective Soul defines HEAVY as "...all your weight it falls on me, it brings me down". I wonder if he was talking about laughing gas....hmmmm.
I really think the bling has caused my brain to release some recessive rock/R&B/soul gene into my typing fingers! And I LIKE it!

I Wish I Had Ambien.....

My roommate got back from Ireland tonight (she's been gone for 6 or 7 weeks) and told me how she spent hours all cozy in the rented oceanside cottage writing her novel and how she could see a lighthouse out her bedroom window. I'm a lover of lighthouses, so that alone made me want to jump on a plane and live there! And while swapping our"what-have-you-been-up-to-since-I-saw-you-last" stories, I told her that I became a grownup while she was gone and started a blog! I said I'd only posted one thing! She asked if I'd written anything about my health issues as of late.....and, hmmmmm, nope. Haven't. When I told her I'd actually written about The Creek, she just laughed. Which is all one really can do about that! So I decided that I'd say a thing or two.... Not about the health stuff tonight, cause I'm still a work-in-progress, and will update when there's something to report. But there was a funny-slash-hateful night recently....so Saturday I had my sister and some nieces/nephews over for pizza and a "Twilight" viewing (which we never watched due to all the chatting). When they left I decided to have a party of my own with a couple of tablespoons of Nyquil (don't judge me....I don't have an Ambien script!) Then the itching started....like, that crazy "I'm-allergic-to-something" itching on my hands and feet. I'm about to head to Smiths at 4am, when I find a benadryl (only expired last July, so it's ok still) and popped it. Totally worked. Then, I decided I needed some motrin for the monster cramps that showed up totally uninvited (nervy...) but had to eat something with them. What's the most healthy middle-of-the-night snack, you ask? A handful of almonds, of course. While chewing I felt some pain in one of my molars then realized the almonds weren't THAT crunchy....and pulled a piece of tooth outta me mouth! Could it be any more hateful???? So in the middle of the night tomorrow (11am) I get to go see good ole' Dean. That's Dr Robinson, DDS for the sake of my visit. More later, I'm sure it'll be at least 3 thousand 50 dollars.....I'll let you know. Moral of the story? We probably shoulda watched "Twilight".

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Here goes!

Here I am! I've put off creating a blog because I've been waiting for some "perfect" timing. You know, when I have the proper amount of time to devote to make the site stunning, when I have something visionary to write about, when I have downloaded the best picture of myself on my PC....the list is endless. But then tonight, I was ensconced in my latest addiction (more on that later) and felt the urge, the absolute compelling urge to write....and so here it goes!
So, I'm watching Dawson's Creek, which is, in fact, taken over every second of my spare time lately. I'm to the point in the final season that I've been holding my breath for since part-way through the second season when I realized that Joey and Pacey belong together....maybe that's just because I WANT them to be together because he's who I would pick for myself...hmmmm. Well, whatever reason, I'm totally getting my wish, and it's making my night, when all of a sudden (ok, it's after Eddie returns from California) the crazy girl BREAKS UP WITH HIM!!! Stupid Joey! She just tells him that even when everything is going perfectly for them, which it currently is, that they aren't meant to be together (the fact that Eddie is back is no small coincidence, of that I'm positive...) and that it's over. And I'm clutching my chest and holding my breath because it's killing me inside! Yelling at the tv (quietly, of course, I'm a basement tenant!) and cursing that girl for losing her grip on everything I thought she should want! And after he walks away (after she let it slip that Eddie is back in the picture and the dawning of the realization that it's not just about him hits Pacey's face), he comes back to give her the dance he "owed" her, since he broke up with her at their prom several years earlier--it's just heartbreaking!
And ok, I'm sure you're laughing at my gooey sentimentality by now, which is fine, whatever, but the point is that it hit me. It hit me so hard---the feeling that a romance or relationship or first love or whatever is over. And it made me remember the absolute emptiness and desolation that has entered my heart and my life when that feeling hits. It plunges into the deepest and most emotionally tender recesses of the heart and is not soon forgotten. I hadn't felt that particular emotion for probably a decade...probably not since I felt it for my first love, or possibly the one I thought I was going to spend my life with. I've had my share of relationships since then, but have never since felt that poignant, raw ache. And maybe the good news is that I won't ever have to feel it for myself again. I hope not. It was definitely surprising to feel it so strongly again tonight. And amazing that a silly WB show could bring it all flooding back to me so intensely--I guess that shows what powerful feelings love and loss truly are!

About Me

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I am daughter, sister, friend, counselor, coworker, niece, caretaker, and world-famous aunt (well, maybe not yet, but someday I will be!) And in September I added wife and stepmother to my titles....I'm loving these new ones! In October 2011 I became a mom to an angel baby, Mercy Faith, whose wings took her straight back to heaven. November 2012 we had the unparalleled joy of becoming the parents to our sweet baby girl, Journey Rose, who has added love, joy and amazement to our lives! I try every day to be kinder, stand higher, love deeper, laugh harder and dream bigger than the day before. One of my favorite sayings is "Women who behave rarely make history". So with that in mind, I do my best to BE, STAND, LOVE, LAUGH and DREAM with a mischievious smile on my face and a wink in my eye! I love my life...in short, it's everything I never knew I always wanted...

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