Everything I Never Knew I Always Wanted

Precious Pain

2011-11-01T00:05:00.028-06:00

This beautiful little stitchery was made for Mercy by her Aunt Kelly. We love it!

My previous post got increasingly difficult to write, and I'd find myself staring at it or doing something else in hopes that if I didn't write it, somehow it wouldn't have to be our reality; but I also find comfort in writing it all down, which gives my baby's short meaningful little stint on earth credence and a magnitude in our hearts that will linger, well, FOREVER.

After my 13 week appointment, when I saw little peanut waving about, I was once again assured that everything was going as planned and felt great confidence and comfort in that little person. Shortly after we found out we were pregnant, David found an "app for that" (which shouldn't surprise anyone who knows my darling husband!) on his phone that gave us week by week progress on our baby. Included in the app were comparisons of food (mostly fruit) so we could know roughly how big our little guy was every week....we always got a kick out of our Tuesday notifications, when I'd get a text from David "oh, he's a blueberry!" or "Your son is the size of a kumquat....how big is that exactly?" (And ps we ALWAYS called the baby a boy....kind of just had that in our heads and went with it! We knew if it was a girl we would love her to pieces, but never really entertained that it would be a girl!) Our kiddo progressed from a blueberry to a grape to a kumquat to a fig to a lime to a shrimp to a lemon

and finally an apple! Very appetizing child! The morning of my last appointment (not having any idea it would be my last) David kissed me goodbye as he left for work and I asked if he was going to kiss "the apple" goodbye, to which he put his mouth right next to my stomach and said "I'm gonna eat you for breakfast! Love you kid." My eyes were wide and he laughed as he told me he was grabbing an apple to eat on the way to work! What a nut!
That was week 15, right on the dot. Tuesday October 11th. The worst day of my life.

A perfect apple...just about the same length as our baby at week 15.

Backing up, about a week before, I had had some random symptoms I believed to be related to a yeast infection. Listen, if that's too graphic for you, I'm sorry; but this is also my journal so it's going to be honest so I can remember all my details! Anyway, I called the office and was told I could try some over-the-counter medication to try to cure it. Started using this 7-day cream and was in such agonizing pain by day 3 that I was in tears and told my husband "never again"! Of course that was Friday night so I couldn't call the doctor's office until Monday morning and when the nurse told me to make an appointment for the next day, I felt relieved that I would get seen. Later I talked to that same nurse on the phone who told me after my appointment she had gone into the exam room to talk to me and I was gone. She was so sorry and said she thought she'd get in trouble for bringing me in for a yeast infection; but knowing what had happened, she guessed she was inspired for having me make that appointment...and I thought so too. I was grateful she was so inspired.

Back to Tuesday morning, I drove to American Fork for my 9:40 am appointment wearing my one and only maternity outfit that I had purchased the week before. That soft stretchy waistband wasn't nearly as stretched out as I was hoping it would get, but it felt great to be in comfortable clothes! My husband had gone to work, kissing the apple on his way out, and was waiting for my call to let him know how the appointment had gone. I had talked to my friend who had heard of some possibilities of problems that would cause the symptoms I had been experiencing and my mind went to the worst-case scenarios I could face. Nah, I thought, it won't be that bad. I was led to an exam room and met with Dr Greg Bean who chatted with me about my symptoms and assured me that what I was experiencing was quite normal for pregnancy, and that I would be fine. As we chatted, he examined my tummy and used the doppler to check my baby. He asked about my moods and if I was emotional, which was the exact moment I started to cry. He asked if I cried in anger, sadness or just when someone asked about my emotional state :). One to always cry when I'm angry, I chose option #3 and said I was just concerned about my appointment. When he couldn't find the heartbeat on the doppler, he suggested we go to the ultrasound machine in another room. I followed and noticed that the machine was different than it had been previously; he said it was the "dinosaur" they had to use cause their good one was getting repaired. The picture on this one was too grainy, so we paraded to yet a third room. This final room had the big screen and the most high-tech ultrasound machine yet. He hit the lights and scanned the wand across my gelled abdomen....there was my baby, and I was again comforted by his (or her) presence. Then I realized there wasn't much movement. Dr Bean said something to the effect of "This isn't good, Melanie." "Uh oh; what is it?" And as soon as I said that, I knew. "There isn't a heartbeat." My world stopped cold as he led me from this room to another, empty, one.
Just like me.

He got me a chair and crouched down across from me. He apologized. Then he told me what he said were the most important things I needed to hear; "Number one--there is nothing you did to cause this. Nothing. Number two--this is not your fault. Number three--this is NOT your fault." As he was telling me this and I was crying, but without tears, I thought, "Of course this isn't my fault. I know it isn't." I appreciated what he was trying to do, but my mind knew there wasn't anything I did to cause my baby's heart to stop beating. Yet as the days have gone by, there hasn't been one that I haven't thought about those words and realized his great knowledge about this kind of situation...because I have felt guilty for what I did or didn't do; ate or didn't eat; take or didn't take during my pregnancy and that little seed of doubt pops in and I wonder if only I had done something different that baby would still be alive inside me. But Dr Bean is not only an OB/GYN, that man has a master's degree in psychology and boy did that get proven to me through that advice! And boy am I grateful for his brilliance!! And that's why he gave that advice to me, exactly on the heels of his apologizing that my baby was gone.

And as he was talking, the next thing I remember was thinking "You just said this to "Sundee....and now you're saying it to me; no heartbeat." My dear sweet friend and coworker, Sundee, had been sat down in this same office 5 weeks earlier with the news that her twin boys didn't have heartbeats. It had been tragic for all of us, and although I had spent some time with her, discussing her experience, I had shed tears with her but had no idea how bad it really hurts. I had never thought it would be my fate too. And now Dr Bean was telling me that it was. He told me we can go over to Labor and Delivery right then and start the process of inducing, because at 15 weeks I was too far along for a D & C; but that it would be a bad idea, psychologically. He offered to have us come back every day if we wanted to, to get other ultrasounds to be sure that this was what we had to do; he said we had to make our decision based on the fact that it was the right thing to do, not because he said so. He said he was on call again on Friday and that I could go in any day to be induced but that he'd be happy to assist me on Friday if I wanted. He gave me the room for as long as I wanted but all I needed was to leave and call my husband. Caring and professional, he led me out and told me I didn't even need to check out at the desk.

I held it together until I reached the sidewalk outside and dialed David's number. When he answered I just sobbed, "There's no heartbeat." as I crouched over and held my stomach, as if to shield my baby from hearing the news. I had to say it several times for it to sink in. He said he was coming home and asked if I was okay to drive or if he needed to pick me up. I assured him I was okay to drive, but don't know if I would make the same decision again....I sobbed all the way home to Draper. I had to call my manager to tell her I wasn't going to be able to work. I called my Mom. She told David later that she wouldn't have known it was me except she saw caller ID. It wasn't me though, really, it was a woman whose heart had also stopped back in that dark ultrasound room; a woman whose life had momentarily become meaningless as her baby's spirit had left her womb. A woman in true, agonizing grief.

I walked quietly into our house and saw my strong husband standing in the kitchen waiting for me. He didn't say a word as I melted into his arms. He just stood there, rocking me and holding me tightly as sorrow escaped my body. He tried to shield me from seeing the fridge, where our only pictures of our tiny one were; he knew seeing those black and white ultrasound pictures would break me even more. He was right. I sobbed even more when I saw them. And the perfect lemon we had bought to commemorate our little one a few days earlier. After a few wordless moments, he simply said to me "I love you more now than I did 10 minutes ago." Even now, an eternity later (even though it's only been 3 weeks), I can't recall that memory without tears running down my face, as he lies asleep next to me, and I realize that our sweet baby's death brought us closer together and made us even more in love than we previously were! Amazing kid.

We spent the rest of the afternoon with my parents, who had come straight up after receiving my call. Now, my mom isn't one of those moms who immediately takes over her kid's life or push or assume her way into a situation; she loves to be involved but allows her children to dictate the pace in which she enters and how involved she will be. That day, she simply asked where I was, where I was going and said she'd be right up. I was so incredibly grateful that she knew I was in no position to ask or demand or decide ANYTHING so for her to just be there; priceless. I was loving her and Dad so much that day! I sat on our couch between my parents and rested my head on my Mom's shoulder and held my Dad's hand as David cleaned the kitchen (we all handle grief differently!) It was a special, somber few hours.

Then there was the pickle situation. I had craved pickles during my pregnancy and had even smuggled a baggie-full into the BYU football game the week before. So we went to Jimmy John's for a sandwich after awhile and I was strong to not cry as I ordered. Then the guy asked me if I wanted a combo....so I asked if it came with chips. He said "Either chips or a cookie or a pickle". And I lost it. Completely. I turned to David and cried into his chest as he rubbed my back and told me, "Go sit down, Baby; I'll get you a cookie." My Mom made a comment that made me cry even more. She said it's really hard to be so heartbroken and to look around and see people going on living their lives like everything is ok; they don't even know your heart is breaking. People just go on living.

Later that day my husband took me on a ride, to get out of the house mostly, which I don't know if that was more for him or for me. It was a beautiful day outside, the sunset created such amazing colors. I looked out the window up at the sky and felt peace, that even in this complete heartbreak, we would be alright. We would actually live through this, as hard as that was to believe. We ended up at my sister, Bonnie's house. Her family didn't know yet so we pretended we were just out on a drive...it felt nice to pretend everything was ok...for about 5 minutes. Then when Bonnie asked how we were, I blurted out, "We're sad." as I broke down and told them why. We had a nice cry, my sister and I :). David and I went to bed that night, exhausted and emotionally drained, and praying that morning would wake us from our nightmare. I remember him pinching my arm in the hopes it would wake us both up. It only got him a punch in the arm :(.

Wednesday I went to my dear friend Rhianne's house for a luncheon with friends, cause they knew I needed it. I will forever be grateful for their love and friendship and even their tears...I think we all made a little Tear Soup that day... It was nice to just lay on her couch staring off into nothing, listening to my friends talking and laughing. Total comfort. Those grilled cheese sandwiches, homemade tomato bisque soup, and cookies cured so much that day.

Mmmmm....grilled cheese and tomato bisque! Comfort food at its finest!

Thursday I can't really remember what I did, but I do remember absolutely dreading Friday. I just knew it was going to be the worst day of my life. My sweet David had moved everything that spoke of our preparation for this baby so I wouldn't see it. Good man. That night we had our friend and neighbor come over, not knowing what was happening with us, and was so compassionate and kind when she found out. We chatted on our couch about her recent breakup and our recent heartbreak (it was so nice to listen to her talk, it almost made my brain quiet down. Almost.) Then we had an appointment with our Bishop and were comforted in his presence; his first comment, after I'm sorry, was that we'll be blessed with more children. Those words really helped. I asked him to give David a blessing, which he did, and I appreciated that. David had given me a beautiful blessing of comfort the night before but no one had given HIM one....and I know we were both grateful for a sensitive Bishop.

When we got back after visiting Bishop Layton, our front door was covered in hearts. On most of them were written words of love;

"You are loved",
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding",
"God loves you",
"Fear not let your hearts be Comforted",
"You are SO strong!",
"....The Lord knoweth ALL things....."
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not; I will help thee.",
"Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?...."

And we did know that we were in the hands of God and that He would comfort, protect and love us through this situation...no one knows more than Heavenly Father the pain and sacrifice it is to lose a child, so who better to sustain us when we were losing ours? We SO appreciated our heart-attackers....and knew EXACTLY who they were :) Truly blessed in our friends.

Mercy's great grandmother, from whom she got her name
Echo Mercy

EAs we snuggled in bed that night and prayed that our strength would be sufficient to sustain us the next day, and anticipated it being the worst day of our lives, we felt peace and warmth. We also discussed baby names....we had one picked out for a boy, because we thought that was a sure thing, for some reason! But I also had this quiet thought pop up every now and then that it was going to be a girl...so I told David we needed a name for her too! When we first found out we were expecting, we discussed names for either gender, and had gone through grandparents' names to see if there were any we felt a special bond to. My mom's mom was Echo Mercy and David immediately liked Mercy. We never talked about it again...until that night when he said, "How about Mercy?" and without thinking I replied, "Mercy Faith". My husband smiled and that was it!

Precious Time

2011-10-26T03:23:00.008-06:00

The story of our little sweetheart is a joyous yet heartbreaking one. We met her the same day we had to say goodbye. Our lives will forever be changed by her short and beautiful entrance. Here's her story, from the beginning.....

When David and I got married last year we thought we'd wait about a year before starting to try to have a baby (September). Then I figured it may take some time to get that baby here, so we figured we'd start about 10 months after getting married (July). Then one day we were in Stake Conference (March) and while listening to one of the speakers, David leaned over to me and asked, "Does July feel too far away some days?"....I knew exactly what he meant. And THAT meant that our waiting was over....it was time! It still took several months, of course, but we were excited to get that positive pregnancy test!

The 4th of July~right before we found out about our pregnancy

We'd hoped and waited every month and were disappointed when it didn't happen but also knew that someday it would. The end of July came and with it, hope and anticipation that THIS would be the month our wish would come true! But I started spotting a bit one day and thought that meant the inevitable period....cue disheartening organ music...but that night during my sweet husband's prayer, he prayed that the Lord would watch over me during this "precious time" and that all would be well with my body and our baby. I tingled all over and teared up hoping that he was right! He had looked at me earlier that day and said, "You're pregnant. I know it." I tried with my weak logic of an immanent period and he just shook his head. What did I know?!?!

It was a few days later, on a Sunday morning, that I finally believed him! Funny thing though, I had purchased several pregnancy tests in the course of those few months and had one ready and waiting for Sunday morning, if in fact I hadn't welcomed a visit from dear old Aunt Flo. So earlier than anyone was up (we had Aspen as well as David's parents and sister's family staying with us) I quietly took my test. Problem was it wasn't the same brand I had used earlier and I got those stupid test windows mixed up and ended up gently squeezing my 3 drops of urine in.....the WRONG window!!! CURSES!!! David just laughed as I grabbed my keys and headed to Smith's for another one. And that one was the magic one....it showed me a + sign!!! Hugs and kisses and a few tears of joy spilled over for us in our little bathroom. And of course an "I-told-ya-so" from my wise and handsome husband :).

July 31st~first pregnancy pic!

Since we had a house full of family, it was hard to hold it in, but we were only 4 weeks and 5 days according to the powers that be which is WAY too early to alert the world. Tuesday morning, 5 weeks on the button, the nausea and exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. Now THAT made it especially hard to keep a secret! We celebrated David's bonus with dinner at the Market Street Grill.....you know they pretty much only serve fish?? Not the best choice for a newly pregnant woman! We decided to tell David's mom that week because she stayed in town for a conference, so we drove down to Thanksgiving Point and stalked a bunch of women filtering out of a building until we saw the right one and surprised her with our good news. She was the first of some very excited people :).

MomMom getting the great news :)

On August 12th, my Mom's birthday, our branch of the extended Wilson family was hosting a family reunion. We had almost burst not telling anyone else in our families except Carol but we were going to be strong until some time had passed. But as David and I pulled up to my Mom's house on the way to the park, we noticed a black Tahoe with Kansas plates parked in the driveway.....no way, Steve and Amber had surprised our whole family (and all of their kids!) by showing up unexpectedly for our reunion! David looked at me and said, "We've got to tell the family now!" So after the reunion, when most of us were back at Mom and Dad's we decided to spill our little bean. But no one could sit still in the same room for long enough! So my brilliance took over and I suggested a family prayer so everyone would gather. Smart, I know. Just after, and before everyone could scatter, I told Mom that David and I had a birthday gift for her....but that she'd have to wait until April for it, and I rubbed my belly for added effect :). That's when the squealing and tears started....very good moment.

Look who gets to use these parking spots!

On August 29th we had our first baby-mama appointment with the good Dr Ollerton in American Fork. We discussed several possible health issues and were able to hear the most beautiful sound in the world.....that baby's fluttery yet strong, perfect little heartbeat. Immediately there were tears (I had told the Dr there would be) and I turned to David and said, "That's our kid, baby!" It was the most wonderful feeling in the world to me and I'll remember that moment forever.

Baby Gartner's first photo...that little peanut is so tiny yet so loved!

The next few weeks were very fun for us, as we talked about our family expanding and how much love we already had for that little one! We started buying diapers and a few baby outfits cause we just couldn't help ourselves :). It was a fantastic time, even though I didn't feel awesome, but I realized every day that I was carrying OUR child...my husband's and mine...and that the discomfort wouldn't last forever but that this amazing child would. It definitely was precious time.

This is my favorite~ David loving my baby-belly.

Great news came on Sept 14 when we got a letter from the First Presidency giving us authorization to be sealed for eternity, FINALLY! We had to wait until our first anniversary, which is September 23rd (Friday this year), but any time that day or after, we could schedule our sealing...woohoo! We only had a week until our anniversary and debated about when we wanted to be sealed....if we did it right on the date, we would miss some family members who couldn't get here by Friday and some other family members were having conflicts getting there within a week....so do we do it on Saturday or do we wait and try to make it more convenient for more family members to attend??? It would have been quite a long time because the first weekend in October is Conference, the second weekend was a conflict, the third was David's birthday weekend ...etc. If we waited, it would have been late October before we could be in the temple together! After lots of discussion, David and I decided that we had waited long enough and that we were going to be sealed on Saturday September 24th. Those who could make it would, and those who couldn't would be missed but their love would surely be felt. We felt strongly about our decision and felt peace that it was the right one. So we called the temple 5 days before and requested a time.....unfortunately it was the same day as Women's Conference at the Conference Center so all the temples in Northern Utah would be closing early...and the Salt Lake Temple (that I've wanted to be married in since I was a little girl) would close at 10 am! I was devastated until the nice lady told me she had a cancellation in one of the largest rooms at 8:20. I gladly volunteered for that ridiculously early time and was grateful it was available.

David wrote this (upside down) on the table at Macaroni Grill the night we got sealed

At our sealing, the Sealer kept saying that although we didn't have children yet, we would, and kept making references to our children over and over....I smiled as I rubbed my belly, knowing that we were a step ahead of him! Those words and repeated discussion about our children were to be of great comfort to us in the coming weeks, although at the time we (and some of our guests) just found it interesting that he kept talking about it... . The sealing ceremony was beautiful and I could feel very powerfully the presence of our children as we looked into the Eternity mirrors. I knew this was the most important day of our lives and of the lives of our children up to that point, and was so incredibly grateful for a loving husband who I WANT to be with forever and know that through Heavenly Father's mercy and grace, we were given that opportunity starting that day. It was amazing and powerful.....another day I will never forget.

The day after promising to love each other forever, my newly acquired eternal companion left for Denver on a work trip. I missed him terribly! A whole 5 days?!?! Way too long to be away from that guy! On Tuesday that week I had my second baby-mama appointment and since my David was away, I asked my Mom to go with me. Dr O couldn't get baby's heartbeat on the dopler, which he said was only successful 50% of the time at 13 weeks, so we got to get more pictures of our tiny through ultrasound. There was the sweet perfect little heartbeat again, and some arms flailing about, seeming to wave at his or her mom and my heart melted at the sight of that precious little bug. By the time the Dr got pics though, that little turkey had turned so only the spine and bum-side were showing! Gotta be David's stubborn kid.....

Notice how peanut turned away from us after waving to Mom!

To be continued.....

Cutting Our Cake....And Eating It Too

2011-08-04T04:41:00.007-06:00

My husband waiting for me to come help him fulfill a time-honored tradition of stuffing our faces in our delicious wedding cake
(I LOVE how his every expression shows impatience, from the stance, hands on hips and even the look on his face.....it's all a bold lie; this man is amazingly patient with me! I mean, he waited over 14 years for this day with me!)

Slice it, Baby! Notice the crowd huddled in for a front row view!

....and the crowd gets larger...

Showing all the Littles the delicious cake before feeding my spouse

...and apparently threatening some hecklers in the front that they're next!

I sure wish that floral branch wasn't occluding the view of that handsome face...oh well. Ready, set, GO!

Even though our faces may not show it, the cake was absolutely DIVINE!! Thanks to my amazing sister, Bonnie, for pulling out her "rusty" skills and making another masterpiece of deliciousness in the form of a wedding cake....mmmmmm.

My favorite thing is Scooter's face....he was SO egging David on to shove the cake in my face, and although the moment for such naughtiness has passed, I think he was still hopeful!

This was my favorite part of the cake-cutting, all the nieces and nephews surrounding us like we were cutting open Disneyland. They were next to dive in!
Kaleigh, Jackson, Caiden's eye, Sadie, Wyatt, Kate and Shannon & Kyrsten in the back.

Even missing teeth I think Kate could easily munch on some cake! Sadie, Wyatt and London look hungrily on.

Dad & Mom with Al & LaRue (aka The Renchers) looking on.

Wedding Reception....backwards

2011-06-30T03:53:00.009-06:00

It's been over ten blissful months since we got married so I figured it was past time to start posting pictures. I started from the end of the night so they'd be on the bottom of the post, but there are LOTS of pictures and that would be a seriously long post. But in the spirit of getting 'er done, they're backwards. I'm okay with that. Anyone who views will have to be too :)
Enjoy...

Supporting and loving me on my most important day,
My fabulous work sisters!
These women did SO much to make my wedding day special and beautiful...
I can't thank them enough :)
Rachel, Sundee, Missy, Kaye, Krista, Mary, Rhianne, Annalee, Brittney, Lisa & Tracey

Tossin' My Bouquet
Meghan, Kyrsten, Aspen, Tina and Sadie play catch
Steve and Aunt Suzanne on deck :)

Aspen makes the grab...

...and does a dance of joy!

Hugging my sweet new niece, Meghan

I love this picture of my new husband and stepdaughter....aren't they sweet?!

My Maid of Honor Tina (who also happens to be my close cousin and great friend)
She was fabulously supportive and I love her dearly

Ten minutes into marital bliss and he's already tired of me bossing him around...the fun has just begun, buddy!

Onward to happily ever after :)

Hitched

2010-10-06T15:33:00.000-06:00

A mere 14 years after we met and fell in love,
David and I got married!!!
We really did it!

Our families obviously can't believe it either :)

More to come.......

2010-05-23T15:06:00.002-06:00

Just found this drafted post that I never posted for some reason :).....I'm having great memories from these pictures that were in the beginning of the courtship that would lead to our marriage! Tender, I know...

David & Melanie

March 2010

An impromptu photo shoot that happened one day after church....mostly because I like the way this man looks in a suit!

We are nothing if not sassy :)

And this is the one I posted on facebook thinking it looks like a nice little innocent shot of two people who happen to like each other.....WRONG. Apparently it looked (to some, at least) like an engagement photo. Wow. Deleted it off FB faster than you can say "Holy Moses!"

I still think it looks sweet. Whatever.

Laughing at something hilarious...who knows what really.
PS I really DO KISS better than I COOK!
(It says so above my stove)

Angel Babies...

2010-05-21T23:44:00.000-06:00

Christian & Ruby
February 2009

Wordless Wednesday meets Fabulous Friday

2010-05-15T00:47:00.000-06:00

Girls Just Wanna...

2010-05-07T19:28:00.000-06:00

LONDON

My three favorite things about this picture: Londy's angellic face and half smile, her Shirley Temple curls, and her hiked way-up socks (what? is she playing soccer later???) Ok four, I love her little stance--what a poser!

ASPEN

Now this cute girl is quite a bit tougher to get to pose for (or even look at) the camera....but I put her in roller skates and she couldn't get away so fast! Although this is obviously caught mid-fall into my lap!

TEEGAN

This next little small loves to hula hoop....and she's really good at it too. She watched me try and there was laughing.....I CAN move my hips but apparently not in the right directions!!!

I gave Londy new jammies for her 3rd birthday and here she is showing me what the "monkey on my jammies is doing"...

"Can you see my panties if I stand like this??" Well, London, when you're that stinkin adorable, I think it's okay that we see your unders!

Sacred Steam...

2010-05-01T00:14:00.000-06:00

In January, Dave and I went for a walk around Temple Square and he captured this shot of the temple through the steam rising up from the reflection pool. Freezing but totally worth this pic!

My Dad's Better Than Your Dad...

2010-04-28T07:27:00.000-06:00

I love my job. Sometimes it's stressful; mostly when a baby's life is in peril. My adrenaline spikes and I go into life-saving mode. Sometimes while in these intense situations someone says something to break the tension....I like it when it's myself or a coworker, cause we can laugh about it later. But I LOVE it when it's a parent (usually Dad) because they are usually in their "mode" and have no idea the nurses are all close to wetting themselves over their comments!

Case in point #1:

While I was orienting last May, I had several really great learning experiences that came in the form of baby codes (ie baby comes out not breathing and has no heartbeat). One of those happened with us being alerted to it beforehand and we were there at delivery. Baby looked like crap. About 400 people were ushered out of the room. We worked on the kid. From across the room there's Dad, calling out to the baby, asking him to "cry for Daddy, Buddy, cry for Daddy" and "Daddy's here buddy". Sweet. Sort of. But mostly creepy. And then there, in the midst of our quiet but efficient efforts to get the child to breathe, we hear the Dad singing, with all the gusto you'd expect, "Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. Chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff he's Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, Silly, willy, nilly old bear...."

Yes he did.

And as we're running with the bed downstairs to the nursery, and the bed rolls over my shoe and flings it across the hall, and I don't stop to get it cause I'm in The Mode, this crazy-slash-sweet Dad continues to sing "Winnie the Pooh"! About 5 minutes later, out of the blue, he asks me, "Hey. Where's your shoe?" PRIORITIES, MAN!! I LOST IT SAVING YOUR BABY'S LIFE!!!

Pure hilarity.

Winnie. The. Pooh. Seriously???

Case in point #2:

Happened last night. It was a hellish night. I had three VERY fussy babies in Level 2 (the sick kids). Our Admit nursery was extremely busy as well, so when I had a second, I ended up over there helping Cousin admit a baby. Kiddo was really red, which is a sign of too many red blood cells, which most often happens when the parents decide not to cut the umbilical cord until it stops pulsating (stupid) so the kid gets all the red blood cells and her blood is too thick and sticky to oxygenate properly which leads to respiratory complications....anyway, enough of the medical drama...bottom line is I have to draw blood on the kid and because it's so thick, she's a hard stick. Mom and Dad are there, hovering and asking questions, which is totally within their right. They want to be right down there in her face, all up in my grill while I'm poking her with a needle. Fine. She's crying so they "ask" her if she wants to hear the songs they've been singing to her big sister....apparently she said yes, she would love to hear some songs, cause they began to sing

"I Am a Child of God"

which is sweet and adorable and awesome and all of those other great adjectives that describe that song....but it's also a little awkward for the nurse (me) who's in The Mode...especially with them snuggling right on in. I'm maintaining my professionalism during the off-key singing until I hear Mom sing,

".....with parents KIND OF DEAR..."
Excuse me? Just KIND OF dear???!!!
I about lost it.
Know what I had to think about to keep from busting out laughing while holding a needle in their baby's arm?
Dead puppies. Dead puppies. Dead puppies.
Wasn't working......
So then I started thinking about a fight Dave and I had the other day....and how bugged I was....
Dead puppies and fighting with my boyfriend. Two very NON funny things.
It worked. I didn't laugh, the baby didn't stop crying, and the parents didn't stop bothering both of us.
The baby DID slow her crying until the part about how her parents were only KIND OF dear, then she burst into tears. Poor thing couldn't handle it.

I love my job.

Kissiversary

2010-04-23T16:10:00.000-06:00

I'm inspired by "Wordless Wednesday", Amber's fairly new addition to her blog. And since I want to be like her when I grow up, I'm stealing the idea and tweaking it for my own (thanks, Amb!) On that note, I'm installing "FABULOUS FRIDAY" as my new DirtyLittleSecret!

My Dave and I up East Canyon
*I love this picture for several reasons. First, the obvious one--being kissed by my man brings pure bliss to my face. Second, it was one of those sweet moments when pics take themselves, you know? I just thought the lake was beautiful and wanted to get us in with it...I was going for a smile when he kissed me....so I snapped this shot, and it turned out to be almost perfect! Anyway, I love it!

Rain on Our Parade

2010-03-25T13:32:00.000-06:00

The Saturday before St Patrick's Day found us at The Gateway at the parade. And I'm not sure why...cause first of all, we had to get up at 6am to get there on time, second, we had not one child with us! Granted, we were going to meet Jason and Deana, who had kids we could claim, but while trying to locate them, it was just three adults walking up and down the parade route (Dave and I had been talked into going to the parade by Jared, his roommate). And third, it was cold and windy....we stood in line at Starbucks for about 30 minutes for a warm beverage!

We finally found our people and had a fun time watching all the roller skaters, horses, Shriners, clans, dance groups, dogs and Catholic school kids in the parade. Partway through, the rain started! I hadn't planned on freezing that morning, so I was only in a tee shirt and light denim jacket. Deana gave me her "magic" scarf that has a huge hole in it so you can put it on like a hat then wrap it around your neck too. Helped a bit. Dave had grabbed a windbreaker from his car, which is about as much of a coat as he ever wears (the man is in short sleeved tee shirts most of the winter!) and it may have helped with the wind but when the rain came, he just got drenched! I was glad I hadn't bothered to wash my hair that morning, and just had crazy hair at work that night...who cares, right??!! We finally left and made it to the Chinese restaurant right before the rain turned to snow :) It doesn't really matter the circumstances, as long as you're with someone who makes you happy, good times will ensue!

Dave and I PRE-rain!

After awhile, we couldn't even snuggle to stay warm, cause he was soaked!!!
The magic scarf cracks me up!

The men--Jason, Jared and Dave. (I like how the J's are snuggling a bit!)
Anything to stay warm I guess!

Second Chance Lucky

2010-03-24T21:55:00.000-06:00

I guess it's time to update a really important part of my life, that has BECOME my life. So for those who I don't get to see every day, and who don't get to see the smile on my face, here is the abbreviated version (which will probably still be very long, cause who are we kidding? I don't do abbreviated anything!)

Once upon a time, in 1996, I met a boy named David. A week later his persistence paid off and I agreed to go out with him. We dated. We fell in love. We were going different directions. We broke up. We found others. He married his. I almost married mine. Fast forward 14 years. I see him on Facebook. He takes two minutes to realize it's me (short, dark hair had replaced long, blond!) He's surprised. We start chatting. We plan to meet for breakfast. We see each other. We small talk about work, the weather and why we broke up all those years ago (neither one really remembers actually ever breaking up...just that I returned my beautiful promise ring, which broke both our hearts.) We leave, both realizing that there are still incredibly deep feelings there. Those feelings shoot to the surface. Dang. Timing is off a little. He's going through a divorce. Divorce finalizes. Friendship ensues. Love happens.

(Hey I CAN abbreviate stories!)

Some pics from one of our first outings together...we drove all over SLC one day (we LOVE to drive) and stopped at the "This is the place" monument and Temple Square to walk around in the frigid Utah winter....we're nothing if not crazy!

We're kinda cute together, right?!

Zion and the Virgin

2010-03-23T16:49:00.000-06:00

I took a quick trip with Joey and Glen to St George for the weekend and met up with my parents and Tammy and her kids in Mesquite for lunch then spent the next couple days with them before heading home through Zion National Park....which added HOURS to the usual 3.5 hour trip. In true Wilson style, it was a comedy of errors filled with 83 differing opinions as to what to do, where to stop, how to spend the time, but we had a great time (also in true Wilson style :)

Look very closely.....cause these are quite possibly the ONLY pictures I'll ever have of my parents outside a casino. EVER. And frankly, I was surprised to get them.....perhaps life mellows people out a bit!

Donny, Tara, Me, Joey, Dad, Mom, Glen and Tammy outside the Virgin after a yummy seafood buffet...a really good place to spend 8 bucks on a Friday afternoon...

Eating a well balanced breakfast of Nilson's Frozen Custard concretes on our way out of St George...WHAT?! Mine had berries!

Why wouldn't we be playing Rook on the Hurricane Subway lawn???

G shimmied himself up Mom's van for a group shot and I couldn't resist taking this delightful little snapshot of him and the amazing Zion Canyon behind him.

Grandma Rosemary and her eldest, yea, and also tallest, grandkiddos--Tara and Donny, in Zion.

When have I ever let a day slip by without taking a self-portrait?? NEVER. So why would I start now?? Joey, G and I cruising up the canyon....wind in our hair (we wish). C'mon, I drive a freaking Saturn!

And here we are again looking like J Asses. Can anyone tell we're related??? This is a patented look we've got going on...so don't try it at home without adult supervision.

Going through the tunnel (that our Grandpa Jim helped build in 1930, mind you....don't know how they feel good about even charging us to go through the canyon...geez). Don't worry, we were honking and jamming to Blackhawk all the while.

2010-01-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

As a nurse (and also as a human) I know that there are people we connect with more than others. I've had many experiences at work when I've received report from a nurse that a certain patient was difficult, or needy, or apathetic, or rude, or a thousand other non-attractive personality traits! Immediately I make a judgement about the patient and it either places a black cloud over my relationship with her and the whole shift is tainted, or I get in to see her and I have a connection with her that is absolutely opposite of what I'd planned on experiencing. I know I've given report that I had a hard time with someone and found out the next shift that the nurse I gave her to had a wonderful experience. Sometimes the opposite happens...where one nurse enjoys a patient and thinks she rocks then the next nurse who gets her thinks she's hard to deal with --it totally goes both ways!!
Anyway, back to my original idea...sometimes I have such unique and amazing connections with families that completely make my night! I had just such a connection with Paul, Brookelle and Kole, this amazing new little family who started their journey with pain issues, sleep deprivation and an uphill battle with breastfeeding!!! Happens all the time :) I spent a good portion of two shifts in their room trying to make the transition from "couple" to "parents" run smoothly. They were so sweet and grateful for my help and they endeared themselves to me by being so incredibly patient. So after I loved them and left them, I found this note in my box....and their words made my day! Believe me, there are many frustrating shifts where I'm sure I'm the worst nurse in the universe or that I don't feel I helped anyone at all! But one small "thank you" speaks louder than a thousand inadequacies on my part. It is for this reason that

I LOVE MY JOB.

10 Random Things I'm Thankful For...

2010-01-25T00:48:00.000-07:00

Felt the need to blog, but can't quite say what's in my heart just now..... so I decided to throw out some things I'm grateful for......not a complete list, mind you, just a few...

FRIENDS....those who stand by us every day as well as those who've left us--they have ALL touched our lives...

WATER...cold and crisp for drinking as well as hot and cleansing for showering, washing stuff and generally making life cleaner :)

SLEEP....good old fashioned shut-eye, whether power nap or a full 8 hours, it's much needed and I LOVE it!

FIREFIGHTERS.....they save lives, plain and simple.

SNUGGLES.....from teeny tinies, mamas, aunts, friends, lovers, dogs, blankies or daddies, doesn't matter--we all need 'em, any time, any where.

MITTENS.....and caps, scarves, coats etc. When it's cold out, I'm grateful for whatever warms me....I guess I could add hot cocoa to this category as well...

PILLOWS....and the little eyes that peek out from them! After a long day, the best thing in the world is a soft pillow to welcome me to my bed....and my nieces and nephews make me smile equally as much :)

JESUS CHRIST.....we celebrate Him as the greatest gift at Christmas and the Savior of the world at Easter....and every day He blesses my life.

MY MOTHER.....for being the kind of mother who has the guts to purchase this sweatshirt for her grown daughter....should I take the hint that she thinks I have attitude??!! Plus, she taught me how to love.

ALL THESE PEOPLE.....they're why I am who I am (so blame them if you don't like me) and they love me unconditionally, even when they're cold and wiggly.

Just some, not all, of the things I'm grateful for. Not by a long shot.

The last night of the decade, 2009...

2010-01-03T04:11:00.000-07:00

I had to work New Year's Eve this year. It's ALWAYS busy on December 31st (everyone is trying to get their "little tax deductions" in by the end of the year :). We knew there was no chance of getting cut that night, so we decided to party like it was 1999 (wishing that it was...who wouldn't like a "do-over" decade??!!). Here's proof that we ended the decade in true-nursery style!

Rhianne and I had been at Walmart several nights before and saw these awesome headbands (and the glasses) and HAD to have them! We wore these for probably about 10 hours that night! I told parents that they were birthday hats in celebration of their baby's birthday :)

The matching set...

Pucker up, baby!!!

Britt brought fancy crowns to add to our party getup so we could ALL look fabulous! Liz, Britt, me, Rhianne, and Sarah

Annalee busted her sparkly antennae out too!

Do a little dance...

...make a little love...

...get down tonight!!!

Drinking a celebratory toast of Voltage from med cups...that's how nurses do it!

Rhi, Sarah, me, Vendla and Britt rockin' the night away :)

Oops we must have done it again! (I don't remember what, though....I wonder if Britt spiked my Voltage.....???)

You know exactly what was going through our collective minds at this precise moment...."Heeyyyyy!"

Blowing a kiss to 2009 and ready for all the love, loss, laughter, learning and life 2010 has to offer!

Since I had to spend the night working, I couldn't have picked greater peeps to enjoy it with!!!

Happy 2010!!!

Sisters! Sisters! There were never such devoted sisters...

2009-12-31T01:08:00.000-07:00

For a reason I cannot yet comprehend, I "assisted" my Mom in choosing Christmas Day 2009 as the day we'd take our Wilson Family photos....bad idea. For oh so many reasons. These pictures are exhibit A in proving that the whole group family pictures were a disaster. But, as on that day, this day, too, I won't dwell on my poor choices! It was bitter cold and these pics show that only the toughest of the Wilson clan can still smile while freezing their backsides off! Notice the absence of men...except, of course, our faithful photographer, Dave, who had my camera. Kyrsten had Jenn's. Bless their souls!

Me, Amy, Jenn and Amber...I didn't get the memo that we weren't posing "sassy"...

The impromptu photo shoot started because I wasn't willing to leave this beautiful bridge without at least a few pictures taken there! Amy, Jenn and I started it, then noticed that Steve and Amber's car was still in the parking lot a hundred yards away, so we waved her over as well! That's just called taking advantage of a gorgeous setting!

A little sass, just cause we can!

We had fun, laughing the whole time--I don't think they believed we were really going to TOUCH the frozen bridge metal...but I was seriously focused on doing just that!

...and here we are, bravely snuggling with the frigid metal!

...then we had to snuggle with each other to warm up!

Oh yeah, we went ahead and climbed on up...then straddled it for good measure! Totally worth it, I think, cause it's such a fun pose!

And it was hysterically funny trying to hold each other up there!

I wish all my sisters had been there to play with us! I'm SO grateful for each of my sisters, who build me up and love me just the way I am!

Do we call the Connectikittens "Kansas-cats" or "Chihuahuas"?

2009-12-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

For Sadie's birthday, my Mom and I wanted to surprise her for a visit to their new home in Kansas (although the kids insist they don't LIVE there, they're just RENTING :) We flew in late Thursday night and Steve and Amber picked us up from the airport, assuring us that the kids knew nothing of our visit...just as we had hoped :) They gave us their master bedroom, and informed us that Wyatt might be dropping by, his habit lately is to crawl into their bed several times a night....Steve said he'd already done it twice before 11pm that night. Sure enough, about 1:30, he shows up on my side of the bed. I say, "hi, Wy. It's Mellie." He climbs up and snuggles in between Grandma and I. He sleeps like Sid the sloth, so we didn't get much sleep, with all of his wiggling. My Mom told me the next morning she hadn't heard him come in and thought I was the restless sleeper! His face was priceless when he woke up and saw Aunt Mellie and Grandma where his parents were supposed to be...he just kept looking back and forth and rubbing his eyes! Just about then, I heard Steve and Amber talking to Sadie in the hall...asking if she got everything she wanted for her birthday. She said, "Yeah. But Mellie's present didn't come and she said it would be here on Thursday!" He replied that she better check out his room and they opened the door to me and Grandma doing, "SURPRISE!!!" Another priceless expression as she jumped up and down and ran to hug us. And of course, Christian was totally cool and easy-going about the whole thing. "Oh, Mellie and Grandma in the bed? Ok. Whatevs." (I'm sure that's what he was thinking :)
So, here are some random pics from the weekend--we mostly spent our time just hanging out, wrestling (Wyatt kept begging for more!), snuggling, playing games, and a little shopping and site seeing:)

Grandpa Mel sent balloons for the kids--they absolutely loved them. It broke my heart, though, when Christian couldn't blow one up! He would huff and puff and shake with the effort, then, with a defeated look on his face, he'd bring the totally soggy balloon to me and say "Blow it, please". Killed me!

Grandma brought a Siamese cat for Christian and a horse for Wyatt (cause he's addicted to horses), but Wyatt fell in love with the kitten, and it never left his clutches all weekend. He kept calling it a Chihuahua. Hmmm.

Sadie loved her new makeup, which she immediately put on, using her Caboodle mirror (she's turned into such a girl!) while Ruby climbed over everything and everybody to get to the stretchy spiders!

Where she immediately tested the strength of said stretchy spiders!

Chihuahua, Horse and Hippo. Wyatt is most happy when surrounded by his animals, as evidenced by his cheesy grin!

All clean! I love those two tiny teeth!

Telling bedtime stories to Sadie and Wyatt...yes, I did climb up her ladder to her super high bed, where I couldn't even sit up straight on! And yes, that's the ceiling fan above her head. She's rocks that bunk!

Grandma Rosemary and the bed-jumpers.

Getting ready to go to a marble factory and to Liberty Jail in Missouri.

I absolutely LOVE this shot of Christian giving loves to Grandma. He's just so stinking sweet!

Chrisch and Sadie jammy-snuggling watching Curious George's Christmas...a gift from Grandma that Chrisch went nuts over!

Sadie had to spread the joy of makeup with Grandma...giving her a makeover, complete with painted nails, sparkly eyeshadow and lip gloss :) Like I said, total girl!

This kiddo likes to sit next to-slash-on top of his movie buddies...and don't we love it!

See what I mean?! This was the night I must have been made of Velcro, cause neither Chrisch nor Wyatt could stop from jumping on me. Don't think I didn't love it, cause I most certainly did!

Sadie Mae helping her Grandma do dishes. She's such a sweetheart!

During my princess makeover on the bunk!

Playing Candy Land!

I've seen this look before on Ruby's big sister...isn't she precious?? This dress was made by a friend of mine from work, and it was fun to see it on her (Sadie has a twin one in the next pic)

Miss Weasel-pants, my best friend!

We're not in Kansas anymore (after today, anyway...)

2009-11-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

The last day my Mom and I were in Kansas, we all woke up to snow falling....and by "snow" I mean "slush"--the kind that looks like snow in the sky, but falls and within seconds turns into wet, slushy puddles. But that didn't matter to the kids! They were out on the balcony in full winter gear playing in the snow. In all their pure, childhood wonder :)

Except for baby Ruby, who stayed in her jammies, in the warmth of her Aunt Mellie's arms!

...Which was fine by me!

Steve and my Mom think she looks and acts like a similar version of me when I was a baby--only much more adorable, I'm sure!

The first day or two of our visit Ruby wasn't really into me...she's a mama's girl and I'm practically a stranger. Well, I wasn't going to let that fly. Even though I haven't seen her nearly as much as I'd like to, she's still my girl and I really wanted to get to know her. So I gave her an ultimatum, naturally. I told her she had til Sunday (day 3 of our trip) to be wary of me, then we were to be best friends. Totally worked.

Sadie was the first one out, of course, tossing slush-balls at the door...

Wyatt was loving every second of it!

I'm pretty sure they were singing Christmas carols, loud and strong!

This is so typical for these two...Wyatt all in your face, making a crazy face of his own, and Christian sweetly smiling in the background, letting Wyatt take the glory, but knowing he's every bit as lovable!

Snapped a pic of the flake on his eyelash...or, as Wyatt pronounces it, "eye-waash"

This one loves an adventure...ANY adventure. Just like her dad.

Poor Chrisch, he's feeling the cold but loving the fun

They kept coming in for more winter gear....hats, mittens, scarves, boots...the whole shebang!

The performance never wavers, for Sadie and Wyatt...always on.

Amber's the best mom....she had hot coco with marshmallow and mini candy canes for her frozen little ones

Sticky.....

.....and delicious.....

....and all over your face! Exactly as it should be :)

Flash forward to half an hour later when Mom and I were all packed up and ready to say goodbye....one quick last snuggle...

...and we were off! Can't wait til Christmas, when we can see these cute little weasels again!!!
LOVE YOU, SADIE, WYATT, CHRISTIAN and RUBY!!!!

Werewolf Fans

2009-11-29T01:55:00.001-07:00

On opening night of our latest obsession in the Twilight saga, 'New Moon', I went out with some of my girls to celebrate....and to see the movie, of course :) I met up with Brittney to hit Kohl's for some shopping then we met Amy (hereto referred to as "Cousin"), Kaye, Vendla, and Sarah at Chili's for some dinner before we saw our 12:01 show (where Sundee and Jodi joined us). I laughed so hard and we had an absolute BLAST!!! I'm grateful such a silly thing as a vampire/werewolf/human love triangulated movie aimed at teenagers could bring us together for a reason to celebrate! It was pure joy!!

Vendla, Cousin, Me, Britt, Sarah and Kaye after our "Twofers" (Chili's had their 2-for-$20 special going on, which we took complete and total advantage of, splitting our feasts with a friend!) And by the by, we didn't realize this was a "shortest-to-tallest" shot until AFTER it was taken...we rarely discriminate by height, and didn't do it that night!

Cousin, Jodi, Edward, Jacob, Bella, Britt and I outside the theater...

Cousin, Me and Britt squished in for one of my favorite (and famously-spot on, actually) one-handed tricks--the self-portrait! I do them all the time for lack of a photographer on hand and it usually works pretty well! This photo-op is requisite for our movie-going lately, we gotta get one in front of the movie poster :)

I brought some glitter left over from Halloween for us to put anywhere we deemed needed glittery. After Cousin rubbed some on her neck and chest, she suggested I put some on her eyelids....then closed her eyes and exposed her chest. It took me a second to register...but then reminded her that those AREN'T her eyes. It was hilarious, and we're basically still laughing about it! I sure love my Cousin!

Britt found/purchased with her kid's meal this New Moon crown, which we all took turns wearing...if only for a quick pic...I don't think anyone wanted to commit to it for the whole movie :)

Apparently, Kaye is Team Bella....

Vendalita (that's the only nick name she'll let me call her--and believe me, I've tried a LOT of nicknames...Vend, Vendy, Vend-a-la, nothing works except Vendalita, I'll use what she gives me :) She's sporting the crown well, and if you'll notice her left ear...it isn't actually that small...she has it TUCKED into itself!! I requested she leave it that way because it's one of my favorite quirks about this girl! I love it!

Sarah seems very comfortable posing in a crown...maybe she has princess genes, hmm.

JoJo sporting the Team Edward shirt whilst wearing the crown Edward-front. It looks like she's a hater. But I think she was just sporting her Twilight-approved gear, and that's the shirt she had...don't worry, she loves Jacob too.

She brought it, but she certainly didn't flaunt it! I didn't catch Britt with the crown, but she definitely showed her true colors with the Quileute tattoo on her shirt! That girl obviously loves the big brown boys (if there's ever a question, check out her hubby :)

I made Cousin wear the crown to the bathroom (cause I'm just plain mean, I guess, or willing to do anything/make anyone do anything for a good laugh!) and caught her on the way back, waving to her adoring fans :) She actually saw me with my camera and was hamming it up...I guess making others laugh runs in the family!

Ahh, cousins. Aren't we sparkly??!!!

I even wore the stupid crown! I say 'stupid' simply because it made my head look funny...as if I have a tiny head!

And I had to get a pic of Britt and I, who, we swear, were separated at birth. The theory is that we're twins...we just have such similar childhood stories about our families and can complete each others' sentences/thoughts most days!

Britt, Sarah, Cousin, Kaye, Vendalita, Jodi giggling in anticipation for the movie to get started, already!!!

Since it was a midnight showing, I saw lots of girls with blankets, slippers, and jammies on (maybe partly because they had jr high to attend in the early morning!) but I think mostly because it was nighttime for some people. We all work the night shift, so this was us in our element! Mid-afternoon, really!

Snuggling sans blankets and jammies...although, I did have my red work shoes on in case I was called in to work...never did get that nasty call though...YAY!!

Sundance Joy Belnap Wilson, our other family member, showed up just in time! She came because Britt had an extra seat she needed to fill, and Sund loves us enough, even though she had NO idea about the movie or had ever read the books! I told her not to mention her lack of Twilight knowledge, lest she be lynched by the mob. She lived.

Ever since Cousin taught us about our other set of "eyes", we were anxious to show them off too!

Well, the movie was poorly acted and obviously not funded as it should have been (otherwise that Rob Pattinson would have had the cash to remove all that unwanted chest hair...ick) but it was good enough for us to swoon (thanks to all those naked tribal men, especially that delicious jailbait, Jacob Black) and the company was fabulous! I'm sure we'll do it all again in June of 2010 when 'Eclipse' hits our humble American Fork theater and our humble lives are enriched once again :)

Sadie's Seven!!!

2009-11-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

So my mom and I are heading out in several hours to Kansas to surprise Sadie (Steve's oldest) for her birthday (which was LAST weekend, so it WILL be a surprise!) I really would have loved to go on her actual birthday, but it was my weekend to work, so we're going now. When I called her on her birthday, she answered the phone (knowing it was me of course, through the power of caller ID) "This is Sadie speaking on the telephone..." and when I asked how she was, she replied, "I'm SEVEN!" Such a spunky kid!
So my mom and I had tickets in January just after Ruby was born, but my mom felt an intense need to paint her hallway at 10:30 two nights before we were to leave and fell off her ladder, breaking ribs and spending the night in the ER! I felt so sorry for my sweet little mama--she couldn't go see her new grandbaby! Instead of spending two weeks snuggling the kiddies, she spent it in agony every time she tried to take a breath! It was horrible. So this time, I made her promise to stay off ladders of any kind in the preceding two weeks before our journey :) And I think we're golden for takeoff!
I can't wait for all the stolen kisses, sticky hands and chunky cheeks that await us!

In the blink of an EYE

2009-10-26T01:36:00.000-06:00

This is a true story. It's also a stupid story, but one I'm compelled to tell (not really). It's about my eyes. Well, more specifically, it's about the contacts that go IN my eyes. It's a saga that frustrated me at the time but I knew I'd be laughing about soon enough! Well, that time has come...

So, last night I get to work and realize my contacts are cloudy and dryish. Backing up, I had accidentally slept in my contacts the night before, and wondered why the cloudy/blurry vision when I woke up. I thought it was because of my humidifier, which emits a vapor-like smog throughout my room (I swear, I could write a whole blog about how much I'm loving that humidifier!) But the vapor never makes my eyes crusty and swollen, so I revisited the possibility of sleeping in the contacts...and I realize that I can indeed SEE far away, so I MUST have slept in them! Hateful. Further inspection in the mirror revealed great amounts of redness so I removed the offending contacts and threw some others in.
Blah blah blah, head to work and notice the cloudy/dryishness of both eyes. I realized 12 hours is way too long to be in such discomfort, so I plan on driving home between feeding my babies to grab a new pair. Remember that I live in Saratoga Springs and am currently in American Fork, which means I'm at least a day's travel from home, because, well, SS is basically a day's travel from ANYWHERE (except the Walmart and Smiths, which keeps me sane). Then genius strikes: I have an amazingly kind roommate who is NOT working! She takes pity on me and meets me at Target, contacts in hand. Too bad I couldn't go shopping--after all, I WAS in Target's parking lot....still technically at work....bummer!
I can hardly make the drive back to work before I'm ripping out the offensive eye covers...except I realize, shortly after I took the first one out and chucked it in the garbage, that I can't really see without them. Hmmmm. So I close the naked eye and make my way to the parking lot and safely in a stall before I pull out the other one. As I'm about to toss it, the little kid comes out of me and I decide to leave it on my dash so I can see how crispy it has become by morning! (Don't you just love when contacts do that??? I found it out the hard way one night years ago at Steve and Amber's when I stayed overnight and just put my contacts in a lid with NS--apparently, they dry up if not in an enclosed case. It was a terrible lesson then, but one I have fun with now, apparently!)
I run back into the hospital and straight to the bathroom to plug the new guys in. Lefty goes in without a hitch, but Righty needs some coaxing in the form of a squirt of saline. A piece of the universe is in there, under the lens, which is probably the tiniest of dust mites, but for anyone who's had the experience, it feels like a whole beach-ful of sand has taken up residence on your eyeball! I think the saline is helping and head back to the nursery, hoping to be done with the eye issues for the night. Wrong. The situation becomes a debacle when the tiny beach becomes every piece of sand on the northern hemisphere! It's at that point that I can't even open my eye due to the immense discomfort, so I go running back to the bathroom where I pour more NS in there, hoping to flush it out....now I've just created an ocean of sand and water, all mixed in my freaking eye. What now? I remove the affecting lens and find out he's completely ripped! My brand new contact is totally shredded! No wonder.
Now I'm down to one good contact....out of the 4 I've had with me in the past 2 hours. Nice. I can't possibly finish my shift (10+ hours left of it, at this point) with one decent eye....major headache if I even try. So what do I do? Yep, run like the wind down to my car to retrieve the dash decoration, and immediately put it in my mouth to keep it hydrated until I can get to an NS syringe! Yes I did. Spent the rest of my night with one new contact and one totally crappy one. Lived tho. And saw everything I needed to see.....I hope :)
Fast forward to today, when my right eye is still super red and raw from all that scratching. Almost called in sick to work (no I didn't) but got put on call for the whole shift (love it).
Moral of the story? I don't know if there is one, except maybe in addition to all the receipts, gum, camera, ibuprofen, excedrin, phone, headphones, ipod, keys, wallet, antibiotics and cash I have floating around in my Mary Poppins purse, I should maybe keep a spare pair of contacts in there for such a night as this!
As possibly crazy as this might sound, I actually have a picture to accompany this post--not during the actual events, but of the eye in question--although definitely on a better day...

Gimme a 'C'...

2009-09-27T22:54:00.000-06:00

Flashback to October 2008
It's been almost a year since Trish (a.k.a. Tippy) and I went to Disneyland with Rhianne's family...Disney does Halloween like no other! We had a marvelous time and can't wait to get back (with other nieces and nephews, of course, since they all want in next time!!)

Tippy may be tipsy...

2009-09-24T04:30:00.000-06:00

I had to run some errands tonight and my smallish roommates wanted to join me, and since they are a BLAST, it was an easy decision! So after hitting the TMobile store and the mall (where we met Bij, Joey and G for some grub) we stopped by The Sev (ie 7-11) for a quick DC (diet coke) and took some crap back to Walms (of course that one's WalMart). On the way I met some "interesting" (to put it mildly) characters--all from Tippy's imagination, I think she was tired :)

Whilst I'm paying for said DC, I get this little "put all your money in a bag" from behind and turn to see THIS staring me down! Spooky...

Then, as we exited my car at the Walm, she found my goggles, don't you worry about WHY they were in my console...but she insisted on wearing them inside. Next thing I know, she's asking for 50 cents to make a call...

And as I'm exiting the bathroom, I find her sitting on a bench, pants pulled WAY up (Gene Kelly style, rest his fabulous soul...), flipping through a crossword puzzle book!

Hyrum cheesin' it...with a blurry Tippy sneaking in...

It was basically hilarious! SO much more fun than running errands on my own!

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

2009-09-14T23:42:00.000-06:00

I just heard that Patrick Swayze died today, at the age of 57, from pancreatic cancer. Instead of remembering him with a moment of silence (my house is quiet, so that counts) or shedding a tear or two on his behalf (I loved him, but can't squeeze out even one tear right now), I decided to create a photo shrine to his memory, including most of my favorite moments of him (notice how most of them show off his body and/or his dancing--that was no accident, my friend!)

Patrick, honey, this is for you!

You're gonna hurt me if you don't trust me

Come here, Loverboy!

I remember how fat Baby looks next to Penny (Penny's knocked up, Baby) which just proves how utterly tiny Penny was!

He wouldn't know a good idea if it hit him in the pachenga

I said, come here loverboy!

Sexiest man alive in 1991, hmm, let's see, I was 15...I don't even think I saw "Dirty Dancing" for another year or so!

She's like the wind

Johnny Castle and Baby doing their thing~

Sylvia? Yes, Mickey. How do you call your loverboy? Come here, loverboy! And if he doesn't answer? Oh, loverboy! And if he STILL doesn't answer? I simply say BABY...ohh, baby, my sweet baby, you're the one.

Oh I love a man who can dance!!

And one who looks this good doing it!

I had a dream I was your guy

I carried a watermelon??

Mostly, I'm afraid of walking out of this room and never feeling about anyone the way I feel about you right now...

The rumba is something you feel...like a heartbeat. Ga-goom, ga-goom

Becca and I got such a kick out of this part, where she can't let his hand go down her side without laughing~we just smiled the whole way through! We saw this movie together for the first time when I was probably 16 and Bec 15. We rebellously rented this and "Girls Just Want To Have Fun"! We watched "Dirty Dancing" then GJWTHF, then "Dirty Dancing" AGAIN all in the same night, because we loved it THAT much! We saw it together multiple times after that over the years :)

Speaking of Becca, she just GOT ENGAGED!! And I'm SO happy for her!

It looks like they were having the time of their lives....

Ahhh, the lift.

I found this great pic online of him doing some TV series, and I just thought he looked lovely :)

And who can (or wants to) forget this little number on SNL! You KNOW Chris Farley's funny if he's on stage with a half-naked Patrick Swayze and no one's looking at Swayze!!

Who can forget the "North and South" in the 80's?! It was a miniseries on every Sunday night for a couple months, and my family was watching until the sex scene (couldn't have been TOO revealing, since it was the 80's!!) I remember sneaking up to watch it after it was banned from our house!

I'm thinking he was the South cause of that remarkable accent! (Just an FYI, he reminds me SO much of my friend Rob--lookswise and the accent too--I just love those Southern boys....)

Rest in peace, eye candy!

2009-09-09T23:14:00.000-06:00

JOSHUA HENRY WILSON

5 months

Several weeks ago Amy asked me to take pictures of Josh in his blessing outfit (which Tammy originally made for Hyrum for his blessing 8 years ago). We've been busy so it took awhile to coordinate schedules to do this--but we realized we were running out of time cause Buggy is getting so chubby...as you can see by the size of his ample thighs! So the other night I created a make-shift photo studio on my bed and squeezed him in the sweet little outfit one more time...here's the adorable results of our venture!

Hoping we can make this quick...

Smiley boy

Mesmorized by one of his sisters, who were all trying to coax a smile out of him

Ah, there's my Mellie!

Such a sweet, kissable face (he requires about 30 thousand kisses per day just to function!)

I love this one (even with Amy's hand keeping him upright!) cause it's the BEST smile!

He kept looking down, trying to figure out that afghan underneath him, and it made his pinchable cheeks just perfect!

Darling baby...

Feeling like a big boy cause he was sitting up (with his mother's help, of course!)

So stinkin cute!!!

I love this mouth! Getting a little sleepy, Josh??!

Huge Wilson eyes!

Two little shoes for two little feet....(also made by Tam)

Three nano-seconds after stripping off his clothes, he was THIS excited!

He's definitely an angel baby and we just can't get enough of him!

Aunt Mellie loves you, Joshy Bug!!!

Baby Bridger Being Birthed

2009-09-07T01:53:00.000-06:00

May 19th 2009

We welcomed another beautiful baby into the
Wilson family--it seems my siblings are only able to produce beautiful babies for some reason, and it doesn't seem fair, really, but I'm not ever going to complain!
Bridger Ellis Wilson became the 20th child to know me as Aunt Mellie, which is, of course, my FAVORITE name to be referred to! I was invited by Jenn & Kent to be there for Bridge's first actual birthday, which put me in the delivery room for 4 of their 6 kids. I wasn't invited to Hayden's birth because I sort of hated Jenn back then. Listen, it's a long story, and she'll tell you EVERY chance she can get, but I'd rather not rehash old details nor pour the proverbial lemon juice in old wounds, so it's neither here nor there right now, ok? Anyway, nor did Jenn invite me to Chase's birth because, well, quite frankly, she didn't give birth to him and I think it would have been awkward had she invited me without Chase's mom's permission. Besides, I didn't even know Jenn when Chase was born....I'm pretty sure she was in high school in '96, anyway. But I digress....so I'm in the room this time, for all the waiting, along with Tammy, Jenn's sister Mandi (who, when I'm with either of the two of them, make me practically wet my pants every time!) and Jenn's mom, Lynne. Without going into all the details, let's just say that I think we pretty much laughed that kid out of his mother! He was definitely welcomed into this world in the presence of much joy!We first set forth the goals of the evening...
Then the waiting began (for me, at the perineum)...
Mandi practiced just in case she had to step in and take over pushing duties...
After all of OUR hard work was over, we snuggled up for a quick nap...

And Kent and Jenn waited for the last time for one of their bugs...

TaDa!! Here's the sweet boy (see, I told you I'd leave out all the gory details/pictures)

Holding his mama's hand for the first time....

...and his Mellie for the first time, too!

Getting a little face time with his adoring fans/favorite Aunts...

...and reassuring his parents that they can do this one more time!

Welcome to our hearts, Snuggle Bug #6

Chunky French Toast...hmmmmmmmm

2009-09-03T08:26:00.000-06:00

We, and by 'we' I mean Sundee, Britt, Jodi, and I, just topped our 12 hour shift off with a lovely breakfast at Kneaders--chunky cinna-french toast with strawberries and whip cream---mmm mmm good! About as expensive as McDonalds and so much tastier. Go there. Do it. You'll thank me later. I swear.

I'm baaack!

2009-09-01T14:06:00.000-06:00

Here I am, 4 months, countless hours of decision-making and about 800 bucks later, back online! Ahh, it feels so good! I made good use of my time away, however, spending long hours just meditating on the meaning of the universe as well as baking bread for the widows and homeless....who am I kidding? I caught up on season 7 of '24' and started into the 'Alias' series. Don't judge me.

Visiting Britt in San Francisco April 17-21, 2009

2009-05-04T23:00:00.000-06:00

Super creepy to be in one of those ridiculously small cells (5ft by 9ft)

I love coconut shrimp! (Eating at Fisherman's Wharf)

Brittany & I at Baker's Beach...love that Golden Gate Bridge behind us!

Self-portrait at Baker's Beach....I love the sound of waves crashing on the beach.

After we saw "Grease" in San Francisco, we ate at the Cheesecake Factory on the roof of Macy's and I had to get a pic at the plaza just outside. It was a great day!

Notable Notes....or Quotable Quotes?

2009-05-04T20:57:00.000-06:00

I got tagged in a facebook note today (thanks, Britt!) and it gave me an idea to put up some of my favorite movies in the form of great quotes from them...now, I'm not saying it is a good or a not so good idea, just that it is. So here they are, in no particular order (I don't want one movie to feel bad cause it's further down on the list--each are equally important, if not equally loved...) Also, some movies have inspired me to add more than one quote---they're just THAT good. And it's happening. Now.

1-"Johnny Tyler, I forgot you were there. You may go now."
2-"Help me, Oprah Win-i-frey! Help me, Tom Cruise and your scientology!"
3-"What fer? There's only three little ones!"
4-"Follow me please." "Til the ends of the earth"
5-"I swallowed a watermelon. ?"
6-"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."
7-"I'm your huckleberry."
8-"Might I lend a machete to your intellectual thicket?"
9-"But you have heard of me?"
10-"Sweep the leg."
11-" I have not yet begun to defile myself"
12-"If I thought you weren't my friend, I don't think I could bear it."
13-"I stand corrected; you're an oak."
14-"Sato--why you have hate in heart?"
15-"Say I'm a bird." "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."
16-"My cup runneth over."
17-"Mommy, the rhino is getting too close to the car!"
18-"You stink, Justin Matese!"
19-"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
20-"Rob--you were there."
21-"Mostly, I'm afraid of walking out of here and never feeling about anyone the way I feel about you."
22-"Toe-pick!"
23-"Things will change when my sons arrive.' 'You have sons?' 'Not yet. I was hoping you'd help me with that.' 'Is that your idea of a proposal?' 'Well it's a bit quick, but okay. I love you. Always have."
24-"I'm not mad. I'm just.....pissed off."
25-"You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up or I'm gonna come over there and shove an oar up your a*#."
26-"I think everyone should walk around with signs.' 'What would your sign say?' 'Yes."
27-"Baby, do you think it's possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?' 'I hope so. Otherwise what the hell are we trying to save?"
28-"No matter what happens in the next 5 minutes, just know that when I saw you, my heart leaped."
29-"It's so early, you guys wanna go get some coffee or something?"
30-"I'll come around and fix that squeak in your door."
31-"Ah, youth"
32-"You don't believe in all this cold fusion mumbo jumbo do you?"
33-"Let's just say you're doing it for an old pal in the army."
34-"I'm a very happy man.' 'You're happy for the wrong reasons and it's the same as being lonely and miserable except it's worse."
35-"I stand with Adam.' 'Well, don't stand too close, boy."
36-"When what's left of you gets to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting whatever it is you've got left.' 'When I figure that out, I'll come up with a crushing reply."
37-"You can get a good look at a t-bone steak by sticking your head up a cow's a#&, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it?"
38-"Not so much as 'Kiss my foot' or 'Have an apple."
39-"Why? It wasn't over for me. I waited for you for seven years. And now it's too late.' 'I wrote you every day for a year. It wasn't over. It still isn't over."
40-"I'm worth more than Calvin Coolidge....put together."
41-"I could go at any time."
42-"Get me outta this stinkin fresh air!"
43-"I've got two guns...one for each of ya."
44-"Are you a MexiCAN or a MexiCAN'T?"
45-"I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely."
46-"Female bandits? Poppycock!"
47-"Did you just say 'skulk'?"
48-"Not round. Here."
49--"Why are you here? You should be in bed.' 'Wyatt Earp is my friend.' 'Hell, I got lots of friends.' 'I don't."
.......and one of my very favorite movie quotes of all time:
50-"Will you just stay with me?'
'What for? Look at us, we're already fighting.'
'Well, that's what we do. We fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a b*&^% and I tell you when you're being a pain in the a*%. I'm not afraid of hurting your feelings.'
'So what?'
'So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. And we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."

I'm definitely sure I'll be adding to this list, and if anyone has anything to add, be sure to let me know! Wow. That was FUN!

*****SPOILER ALERT*****
Ok, here are the great movies from which these awesome (in my opinion) quotes hail:
1--"TOMBSTONE", perhaps the grandest film of all time!!!
2--"TALLEDEGA NIGHTS"
3--"SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS", one of those classics that is better every time you watch it!
4--"SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS"
5--"DIRTY DANCING", which should just be common knowledge!
6--"NOTTING HILL"
7--"TOMBSTONE"
8--"PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN" (3rd one, I think)
9--"PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN"
10--"KARATE KID"
11--"TOMBSTONE"
12--"TOMBSTONE"
13--"TOMBSTONE" (I told you I love this movie!)
14--"KARATE KID PART II"
15--"THE NOTEBOOK"--This is the one 'movie-from-a-book' that I actually like the movie BETTER than the book...hmm
16--"HOPE FLOATS"
17--"TOMMY BOY"--this movie pretty much defined the end of the milenium for me!
18--"HOPE FLOATS"
19--"DIRTY DANCING" (this one should have been a "duh"!)
20--"TOMMY BOY"
21--"DIRTY DANCING" (remember the great love scene that follows...yummy Patrick Swayze!)
22--"CUTTING EDGE"
23--"BRAVEHEART"--I saw this about 10 times at the theater--and remember crying on my boyfriend's shoulder EVERY time!
24--"FOR LOVE OF THE GAME"
25--"TOMMY BOY"
26--"FOR LOVE OF THE GAME"
27--"ARMAGEDDON"
28--"FOR LOVE OF THE GAME"
29--"THE SAINT"--another one I saw a million times in the theater--it never got old!
30--"CHOCOLAT"
31--"THE SAINT"
32--"THE SAINT"
33--"WHITE CHRISTMAS"
34--"WHITE CHRISTMAS"
35--"SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS"
36--WHITE CHRISTMAS"
37--"TOMMY BOY"
38--"WHITE CHRISTMAS"
39--"THE NOTEBOOK"
40--"SINGIN IN THE RAIN"
41--"WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE"
42--"PARENT TRAP"
43--"TOMBSTONE"
44--"ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO" --I love that Johnny Depp!!
45--"PRINCESS BRIDE"
46--"ROBIN HOOD" (the Disney cartoon--my favorite Disney film of all time)
47--"MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING"
48--"SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS"
49--"TOMBSTONE"--I swear, everything Doc Holiday says is either hilarious or heartwrenching
50--"THE NOTEBOOK"

Chew on that for awhile!

Mentally stable....or not, whatever....

2009-05-04T20:37:00.000-06:00

Yep, totally normal. The good doctor said so...although these pictures (and countless others) may look to prove the contrary!

Making faces with Isabel (Britt's 3 year old)
Drinking Enfamil at work (I'm a sucker for a dare!)

Modeling our homemade uterus including all necessary parts to help that lotion-baby grow!

I was doing an impression....don't ask....

Snuggling with Cousin Sheri...someone put a baby tee on my head...no idea why...

You'll have to talk to Risa about her unwanted advances and how they obviously make me feel!

Why is it that I'm supposed to have so much more free time since I finished school, but I'm forever trying to play catch-up on everything?? Just to make myself feel better, I'm choosing to blog instead of clean my house, which desperately needs to be done! Maybe later...
I got my results back on the MRI/Echo combo---totally normal. Dr Butrum (isn't that the best name EVER??!!) told me that everything came back looking great and that I should just chalk all the weirdness up to some fluke occurrence because we tested for every major problem and the tests were negative. Okay, then! I'm ABSOLUTELY NORMAL! I actually have a heart AND a brain, both of which are functioning perfectly! So for those who haven't quite believed that, you should probably try to wrap your head around those facts, cause Dr Butrum said so! Definitely good news all around, and I'm grateful everything turned out so well....now if I could just get these medical bills paid off, I'd be even happier!

Lovin' on the Bloodsucker...

2009-03-30T21:44:00.000-06:00

The release party of "TWILIGHT" at F.Y.E in Orem---we had such a blast!

We were deliriously happy when we saw these cardboard cutouts of our favorite vampire/wannabe! Bella, Donny, Tara, Mel, Edward and Tammy pose for the camera!

Kickin' that crazy girl out of MY way--this vampire is MINE!!
Don't get in the way of a girl and her killer!

The girls were ready to haul him off and share him!
Tara, Mel, Britt and Sarah

Staking our claim on the hottest vampire in the world!

.....and loving every minute of it!

MRIs and Valium and Echos, Oh My

2009-03-30T21:26:00.000-06:00

This morning I went to UVRMC to get my tests done--and they weren't really that bad. The Valium worked well--or if it didn't, I didn't really care (which means that it DID work, right?!) Just relaxed with it on board, but it made walking a straight path kinda difficult! You'll have to ask Tracey if I acted strangely while under it's influence :) The echo was actually more obnoxious--the ICU nurse wasn't sure if she got the IV in--it wouldn't advance at first. And I'm thinking if she can't hit that garden hose in my ante-cube, I don't know how well she did in ICU! Never fear, tho, cause it worked. And apparently, my lungs are all sorts of in the way of my heart....the tech had a hard time getting a good view. Which just verifies the fact that I've known for a long time--I'm a medical marvel. But she finally made it happen (she was really good at her job) and finished the ultrasound. She couldn't tell me any good or bad news, of course, but that didn't stop me from trying to wheedle it out of her! I get the results in a few days, which means that she stood firm on not telling me, and that means she gets to keep her job!
I came home feeling super exhausted....from all the laying around, I bet...and took a long nap where I had dreams of being so sedated I couldn't open my eyelids! Good times.

Sediments about sedatives...

2009-03-29T23:30:00.000-06:00

So I'm going to get some tests done tomorrow--an MRI and an echo cardiogram. Hopefully they'll provide some answers as to why I've been having weird symptoms lately. My neurologist said it may be anything from a random occurrence to a seizure to MS to a PFO. Whatever it is, I'm just looking forward to figuring it out, whatever it may be.
The MRI scheduling people asked if I was claustrophobic at all, which I guess I may be a little, but didn't think it would be problematic....then a bunch of work friends (you know who you are...) told me horror stories about MRI's! After a lot of soul-searching (like 5 seconds) I decided that forty five minutes in a loud coffin doesn't blow my skirt up, so I'm gonna take the Valium. Or Ativan. Or, really, whatever they offer me, I'm gonna ingest! Why wouldn't I??!!
My fabulous friend, Tracey, offered to go with me (and when I say "offered" I mean Rhianne nominated her, and Tracey jumped on that--what with her awesome house-spouse there to take care of Lizzy, she can go anywhere, anytime---thanks, Jason!) and we're making a day of it! Wish me luck!

Tiny Ones

2009-03-25T22:56:00.000-06:00

Me and snuggly, lovey Christian

Wyatt, Ruby and Aunt Mellie
Ruby will snack on anything she can get her little mouth on...including big brother's nose!

Chrisch has a thing for noses....he'd touch it gently while whispering "nose" like it was sacred!

See what I mean?! He was always super gentle with his baby sister...even while locating all her interesting features!

Here are some great pics from my trip to Connecticut to help out with the newby. And since I'm a blog newby, and I just thought I'd put them up!

Drug-induced Lyrics

2009-03-25T22:13:00.000-06:00

So, good news--I'm getting a crown on the aforementioned tooth! Yay me, I'm going from an ordinary PRINCESS to a QUEEN! (Don't blame me for that cheese--the receptionist told me that one...) And in the meantime, I'm wearing a lovely cap--it's nice really, cause I've always wanted some bling in my mouth. I tried to get the good doctor to add a diamond for added effect...he said if it were in front, he'd think about it. Such a hater. Whatevs.
And I've decided I'm not a big fan-slash-I AM a big fan, of the laughing gas. Numby and tingly at first, then nauseating. And I'm pretty sure I made some juicy confessions whilst under the influence... let's not make that mistake again. Ever. It was kinda like the morphine I had a couple weeks ago in the ER. And as Pink so eloquently puts it, "You're just like a pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill.....I can't stay on your lifesupport--there's a shortage in the switch. I can't stay on your morphine cause it's making me itch....I think I'll get outta here..." And that's what I wanted to do....run outta there. Only I didn't itch so much as felt HEAVY. Collective Soul defines HEAVY as "...all your weight it falls on me, it brings me down". I wonder if he was talking about laughing gas....hmmmm.
I really think the bling has caused my brain to release some recessive rock/R&B/soul gene into my typing fingers! And I LIKE it!

I Wish I Had Ambien.....

2009-03-25T00:17:00.000-06:00

My roommate got back from Ireland tonight (she's been gone for 6 or 7 weeks) and told me how she spent hours all cozy in the rented oceanside cottage writing her novel and how she could see a lighthouse out her bedroom window. I'm a lover of lighthouses, so that alone made me want to jump on a plane and live there! And while swapping our"what-have-you-been-up-to-since-I-saw-you-last" stories, I told her that I became a grownup while she was gone and started a blog! I said I'd only posted one thing! She asked if I'd written anything about my health issues as of late.....and, hmmmmm, nope. Haven't. When I told her I'd actually written about The Creek, she just laughed. Which is all one really can do about that! So I decided that I'd say a thing or two.... Not about the health stuff tonight, cause I'm still a work-in-progress, and will update when there's something to report. But there was a funny-slash-hateful night recently....so Saturday I had my sister and some nieces/nephews over for pizza and a "Twilight" viewing (which we never watched due to all the chatting). When they left I decided to have a party of my own with a couple of tablespoons of Nyquil (don't judge me....I don't have an Ambien script!) Then the itching started....like, that crazy "I'm-allergic-to-something" itching on my hands and feet. I'm about to head to Smiths at 4am, when I find a benadryl (only expired last July, so it's ok still) and popped it. Totally worked. Then, I decided I needed some motrin for the monster cramps that showed up totally uninvited (nervy...) but had to eat something with them. What's the most healthy middle-of-the-night snack, you ask? A handful of almonds, of course. While chewing I felt some pain in one of my molars then realized the almonds weren't THAT crunchy....and pulled a piece of tooth outta me mouth! Could it be any more hateful???? So in the middle of the night tomorrow (11am) I get to go see good ole' Dean. That's Dr Robinson, DDS for the sake of my visit. More later, I'm sure it'll be at least 3 thousand 50 dollars.....I'll let you know. Moral of the story? We probably shoulda watched "Twilight".

Here goes!

2009-03-10T05:51:00.000-06:00

Here I am! I've put off creating a blog because I've been waiting for some "perfect" timing. You know, when I have the proper amount of time to devote to make the site stunning, when I have something visionary to write about, when I have downloaded the best picture of myself on my PC....the list is endless. But then tonight, I was ensconced in my latest addiction (more on that later) and felt the urge, the absolute compelling urge to write....and so here it goes!
So, I'm watching Dawson's Creek, which is, in fact, taken over every second of my spare time lately. I'm to the point in the final season that I've been holding my breath for since part-way through the second season when I realized that Joey and Pacey belong together....maybe that's just because I WANT them to be together because he's who I would pick for myself...hmmmm. Well, whatever reason, I'm totally getting my wish, and it's making my night, when all of a sudden (ok, it's after Eddie returns from California) the crazy girl BREAKS UP WITH HIM!!! Stupid Joey! She just tells him that even when everything is going perfectly for them, which it currently is, that they aren't meant to be together (the fact that Eddie is back is no small coincidence, of that I'm positive...) and that it's over. And I'm clutching my chest and holding my breath because it's killing me inside! Yelling at the tv (quietly, of course, I'm a basement tenant!) and cursing that girl for losing her grip on everything I thought she should want! And after he walks away (after she let it slip that Eddie is back in the picture and the dawning of the realization that it's not just about him hits Pacey's face), he comes back to give her the dance he "owed" her, since he broke up with her at their prom several years earlier--it's just heartbreaking!
And ok, I'm sure you're laughing at my gooey sentimentality by now, which is fine, whatever, but the point is that it hit me. It hit me so hard---the feeling that a romance or relationship or first love or whatever is over. And it made me remember the absolute emptiness and desolation that has entered my heart and my life when that feeling hits. It plunges into the deepest and most emotionally tender recesses of the heart and is not soon forgotten. I hadn't felt that particular emotion for probably a decade...probably not since I felt it for my first love, or possibly the one I thought I was going to spend my life with. I've had my share of relationships since then, but have never since felt that poignant, raw ache. And maybe the good news is that I won't ever have to feel it for myself again. I hope not. It was definitely surprising to feel it so strongly again tonight. And amazing that a silly WB show could bring it all flooding back to me so intensely--I guess that shows what powerful feelings love and loss truly are!